Saturday, March 17, 2012

Aga anarchists

From Marx onwards, posh leftists have always got sticky gussets over a good revolution, in theory at least.  Indeed, the contemporary Rioja radicals get so enthusiastic about their fantasy of revolution, which involves a pleasant, fuzzy outpouring of fraternal solidarity, camping out, holding workshops and  talking (to each other) a lot,  that they  confuse jolly student sit-ins like Occupy for  people's uprisings and are then puzzled when the people laugh at and disregard them, mistaking this public disdain for fiendish political conspiracy.  Any actual expressions of contempt for their Aga anarchy are immediately rationalised and dismissed as ignorance:  "The proles are ignorant and misled; if only they knew the truth they'd stand beside - or more properly behind - us and we'd smash the system tomorrow."  In other words, and as usual, "We Know Better Than The Little People."

When they see genuine revolutions to overthrow genuine brutal regimes, like the ones that have swept across the Middle East, however,  the same people are full of scorn; "It's all a neoconservative plot you know; the Arab proletariat are easily led, and are being manipulated by a fiendish cabal of  NATO, Al Qaeda and imperialist lackeys….'' Etc. Etc. Etc. In other words, and as usual, "We Know Better Than The Little People.''   External governments doing as they've always done, i.e. sticking their nebs in and trying to direct things for their own benefit, isn't further proof that politicians are cynical arsewipes, it's evidence that the revolutions themselves aren't genuine - after all, they're not being controlled by Tarquin and Isolde and there's not a yoga workshop in sight.  

Because, you see, the  Aga anarchists in Islington, Manhattan and all the other more upmarket areas of tasteful revolutionary fervour worldwide know that while the time for global revolution has come round at last, it has to be the right sort of revolution against the proper targets; capitalism, neoliberalism, elitism - all the things, in fact, that gave them their own positions of privilege.

While I can't actually see the British people rising up any year soon - most people are sane and know that whilst revolutions are unfortunately sometimes unavoidable and necessary to overthrow dictators,  they're murderous, brutal and best avoided unless essential - a nasty wee part of me really hopes that the Islington insurrectionaries get what they wish for. Because they'd get a serious bloody shock when they found out that actually they'd be among the first getting measured for the guillotine. But maybe they'd finally grasp that their sneering contempt for the proles is reciprocated in spades, That they aren't viewed as part of the solution but as part of the problem.  That despite their posturing and radical rhetoric, the Aga anarchists are no less part of the status quo and  no more representative of the 99 percent than David Cameron.  So they should be very grateful indeed that the revolution they claim to crave is unlikely, and just stick to camping out and being the subject of benign mockery; it's a lot safer for them.  


  1. Congratulations on finding someone you think you're better than, I guess.

  2. Thanks. But I don't just think that I'm better than them, I think around 98 percent of the population are.